Don’t Get Blogged Down
Things they didn’t tell you about getting a nose job…
I went under the knife again last week. It is amazing that once you’ve made the decision to do something how unprepared you tend to be. Even though I watched tons of videos, read reviews, and scanned numerous plastic surgery sites, I was not prepared for what happened after the surgery, which I’d like to share with you here.
Consequences of a “Nose Job”:
First of all, welcome to a wonderful rule of physics – swelling follows the law of gravity, whether you like it or not! I was ready for the pain, I was ready for black eyes and swelling, I was not, however, ready for all the swelling to drop to the lower part of my face! I looked like I had gotten a face lift and collagen injections all in one day! The lower half of my cheeks looked like water balloons which elongated my face in general, I felt like Eric Stolz in the movie “Mask”! My lips were so puffed up and round, like the kind you get in a Mrs. Potato set.
Secondly, you will lose weight, whether you like it or not. This sounds great but remember, there is joy in food, such comfort, and that is ripped away from you first thing as you lose the sense of smell. Food becomes only texture and temperature and even though you are eating to fill the hunger, without actually getting to enjoy your food, you tend to start reciting the phrase, “What’s the point?”
Thirdly, this lead to what I really hadn’t expected which was depression. I actually started regretting what I had done and was just sitting in pain thinking, “What have I done?” over and over again. With each of these side effects I went to the internet, typed in what was happening to me and found out that they were all regular byproducts of the surgical procedure. One doctor’s site said that each person reacts differently and some people may need Valium or anti-depressants after surgery. It wasn’t in any of my hand outs, yikes! But at least it made me aware that what I was experiencing was normal.
Lastly, you lose your smile. This was the most devastating part for me as my life is comedy and as a social butterfly, I didn’t like the thought of finally getting to go out and not being able to smile at anyone. This is due to the type of surgery I had which slices into the muscles and nerves of the upper lip so I am looking at weeks if not months until my smile returns to normal. Double yikes!
Okay, now you’ve heard all the bad news, but it’s just my way of letting people know what really can happen (like all the stuff they don’t tell you that can happen during pregnancy and during labour that, if people found out, would probably never have children!). I’ve already had people ask about the procedure because they’ve always wanted to get some work done. I figured I’d share it with everyone.
I like my profile now, I like that I’ve lost five pounds. I like knowing that as the swelling continues to go down my new nose will continue getting thinner and more refined. The decision for rhinoplasty was something I’ve wanted to do since I was a teenager, so my poor husband had to support me in my decision, but he reminded me, “I married you with the old nose” and my kids were very upset when I told them what I was going to do, “We think you’re beautiful, please don’t change your nose!”
If you’re making the change, my only wish is that you do it for YOU and not to please anyone else, because you’re going to come out the other end and the first thing people have been saying is, “I don’t really see that much of a difference” and “What did you get done?” Your “imperfections” are YOURS, people typically don’t see them and those that do, well, maybe you should get them surgically removed.
About the Author
Stephanie Herrera is a comedian, writer, producer, teacher, singer, actor, mother of 4, and shallow philosopher. She runs the Durham Improv & Acting Studio in Oshawa, Canada, is a professor at Durham and Fleming Colleges, and is an award winning performer. www.durhamimprov.com / www.stephanieherrera.com / firstname.lastname@example.org / (647) 899-3342 Durham Improv Group and Business pages can be found on Facebook and follow @durhamimprov & @antimommy